Let's Talk About This Generation of Girls
And why it's worth being concerned.
I know I’m not the only one worried about the girls of this generation. Young women are facing unprecedented challenges in human history: never before have we begun adolescence with little glowing devices in our pockets, pinging us with siren songs of a life that isn’t real and the temptation to expose our thoughts, decisions, bedrooms, and even our bodies to total, invisible, strangers. Girls are increasingly depressed, anxious, and prone to self-harm, (not to mention giving each other mimetic health problems.)
And yet, it’s also true that there is nothing new under the sun. While young women of Ancient Rome may not have been tempted to spend exorbitant amounts of money getting implants to impress their Tiktok audience, they were usually considered to be the equivalent of property, belonging to the male head head of the household. And of course, it is the sad plight of many women in history that they’ve felt the need to sell access to their bodies as a means of survival. Perhaps all we can say is that in many (sickening) ways, it’s easier to do so today.
I believe we owe the young women of this generation a robust vision of womanhood: one that they’re getting neither from TikTok, nor frankly, from trending fads like #tradwifing. The online world can only offer snapshots, 2-D views (and increasingly, AI robotic versions) of women that crumble in the face of real-life challenges. No amount of twerking or sourdough baking will increase a girl’s ability to be a “real woman.”
These are not easy conversations; but they are necessary.
I’ve begun a series on this topic over at Word on Fire. The first essay lays out the problem, pulling together research from
, , , and .Read I’m Worried About the Girls over at Word on Fire.
Then, I’d love to hear from you in the comments. What do you think? Do you know any young women who have faced these cultural pressures? How are they faring? If you are a parent, godparent, aunt, uncle, teacher, formator, or just someone who cares about the next generation, what do you think our solutions should include?
Good article, and I'm glad to see thoughtful writers like you contributing to the Catholic/ religious conversation around today's girls.
As mom to 3 teen/ young adult girls (including 1 with autism) and 1 young adult boy, and mental health specialist working with children through young adults, I can testify that they face a multitude of challenges unique to their generation. I would encourage parents and other adults in these kids' spheres, though, not to underestimate the value of your own past experience in guiding this generation. The basics of human interaction still apply, despite their logarithmic explosion into the online space. The basics of family life are still important in this; so many of the teens I've met want to learn to cook & to eat dinner with their families, but the adults have to nudge that into existence. Even neurotypical adolescents might need your help "scripting" what to say in situations.
Being a parent in this societal shift is really. freaking. hard. Writers who inform with compassion like Kerri are sorely needed in the public discourse.
Wow, this was a very robust vision of the state of things for girls. I love how you strung these relevant writers and their varied research and observations together in such a readable way. I am partial to your First Things piece on women's bodies, but the two are very much related, of course. :)
I realize, however, that I don't actually know any young women or girls very well at this stage in my life. As with the modern problems of boys and young men I care about (boy mom that I am), I don't actually know a lot of young folks! Many of my observations are really that - surface-level observations - of when we go out in public to parks or restaurants, etc and people watch. I notice such a lack of social skills, for one, especially for those girls or boys with phones as constant distractions to enjoying each other in friendship. Clothing is increasingly more "sexy" at younger ages, I notice. And that's only a visual of what it looks like on the outside. I only know from these helpful deep dives of others into internet, digital, and social culture of youngsters what havoc these things wreak. So thanks for pulling all this together.
Yesterday on a road trip back home, my husband and I listened to this interview with Andy Crouch on social media and boys vs. girls. He gleans from the public data we are now more familiar with, but adds his own hypothesis on the short vs. long-term effects of digital worlds for girls vs. boys. Basically, he thinks that the social-positioning skills girls learn via social media (while very unhealthy when channeled those ways in the short-term) is actually translatable to the real world in some sense, as we always need social finesse to get along in life. And with all the girls out-schooling men in university settings, they actually do better in the long-term of their adulthood. However, the worlds that boys inhabit online in their formative years are more of the video game and pornography variety. These do not have as bad effects (as social media does for girls) in the short-term. However, his hypothesis is that this contributes to the male crisis due to the fact that there are no real-life translatable skills to be gleaned from the individual simulations of video games and pornography. So ultimately, they are more handicapped to navigate the actual world as men if that is how they spend their boyhood and adolescence:
https://merefidelity.com/podcast/put-social-media-in-its-place-with-andy-crouch/
Long comment, but thought it was interesting to consider! Of course, the detrimental short-term effects we see for girls in all the things you describe are nothing to scoff at. But it does make me think about the short vs. long term effects. Maybe girls are just better than men at unhealthy, functional coping into adulthood. Who knows.