Pairings .03 🍷🧀

The Gifts of Masculinity, plus a recipe for World’s Easiest Pulled Pork

(Welcome to this new [experimental] series, where I share things that go well together - not only the traditional wine and cheese, but things I’ve read or heard or seen. Previous installments here and here.)

Anticipatory Prologue: Why it’s Okay to Talk about Masculinity Nicely

In a culture that talks a lot about toxic masculinity, I think sometimes it’s nice to talk about the gifts of masculinity. Because there are gifts that come with being a man, just like there are gifts that come with being a woman.

Of course, as soon as we start talking in generalities, the objectors will cry out that we are stereotyping and not all men are cowboys and not all women are fashionistas.

Of course not everybody is everything!

Not all men are alike; not all women are alike. Not all human persons are alike.

Each of us is fully human. Each of us is fully a man or fully a woman.

And yet, none of us possesses the fullness of humanity. None of us possesses the fullness of masculinity, nor the fullness of femininity.

We can talk about a variety of general gifts, and acknowledge that none of us has all of them, and that’s ok - it’s part of the design. That’s why being part of the communion of saints is so wonderful! We can celebrate all the gifts, whether those gifts reside in us or in another. In the mystical body of Christ, one person being the foot doesn’t take away from someone else being the eye.¹

So this installment of pairings includes a confluence of ideas around masculinity that have crossed my (proverbial and sadly, *sigh* digital,) desk lately.

1. "Let Them Live Dangerously” - Denise Trull, The Inscapist

Denise Trull’s fabulous essay, “Let Them Live Dangerously” explores her experience as a mother of many boys and their great attraction to danger. She marvels at how grown men seem not only not to mind it, but to “get it somehow.”

“They, of course, will protect their own if it comes to it, and fiercely, but they are never surprised that danger cannot be wholly contained and controlled. I am always surprised how they can simply live with it and still be so at ease. I never am. I wish to domesticate danger and eliminate it -- or at best keep it at bay.”

She reflects on how this tendency in men is a gift, and one that is tied to their practice of the faith, especially boys altar serving at Mass. “It is Jesus allowing them to be part of the danger -- the danger of a God Man loving us beyond measure. They aren't just allowed to be up there with a condescending pat on the head. They are invited into the danger.”

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2. “St. Engelbert” - Hugh Hunter, Manly Saints Project

Denise’s thoughts pair nicely with a piece I happened upon today,² telling the story of St. Engelbert the Theocrat – a member of the communion of saints of whom I had never heard.

What an interesting story of a man who could have been like any other man of his station, exercising power without mercy, but who instead allowed the Holy Spirit to work on his soul. And what change was wrought? Not that he gave it all up to become someone with a different vocation, or different personality, or even different way of living – rather, he tried to use his natural gifts and inherited power for good.

“Engelbert was a powerful man who didn’t mind conflict. 

Snip

The archbishop knew that people were afraid of him. He started using that fear to put the poor and the widows under his personal protection. When one man was robbed on the way into the city, Englebert responded by sending a letter with his seal to the bandits asking them nicely to please give back every single thing they had stolen. The bandits, considering the smoldering remains of the Duke of Limburg’s [Englebert’s political enemy’s] fortress, did not need to be asked a second time.”

In other words, here is a man with that masculine gift of being at ease with danger - and using it to serve his neighbours, especially those most needy.

Bonus

My morning prayer readings today came from the book of Maccabees, which also contains the stories of men who were not afraid of danger, or even death, as they defended their faith. The second book of Maccabees shares the tale of 7 brothers who were tortured to death for their faith, and their mother who witnessed it. Her words of encouragement to them in the face of suffering show courage beyond measure. It’s not hyperbole to say that they’ve changed my life in ways I did not anticipate when I first read them in my early 20s.

(Regardless of whether or not your denomination follows Luther’s decision to remove these books from the canon of scripture,³ they’re still worth a read – not only because Jews and Christians worldwide have read them prayerfully for centuries, but because they’re historical tales of heroism and truly inspirational. Dare I add, especially if you’re raising boys.)

3. World’s Easiest Pulled Pork

When I say this is World’s Easiest Pulled Pork, it’s not an exaggeration. This requires no browning, no stirring, no plating  - no preparation, no maintenance, and only one pot to clean.

The recipe comes courtesy of a friend with nine children, so you can trust me when I say it will feed a crowd with the most minimal of efforts.

There are 3 ingredients, (plus salt and pepper.) That includes the pork. World’s Easiest, right?

The thing is, often “easy” means “dry” when it comes to meat, and I hate that. This pork is moist and absolutely full of flavor. The really nice thing is that it yields a flavour profile that can partner well with several different types of cuisine: Tex-Mex, Southern BBQ, Asian, even Italian-American.

It’s also gluten, dairy, nut, soy, and egg free.

Grab your slow cooker and be prepared for your house to smell heavenly all afternoon.

Here’s what you need:

• A hunk of pork. I say this because the cut doesn’t really matter as long as it’s one big piece with some fat in it. So you don’t want a lean pork tenderloin or individual pork chops. You want a hunk of butt or shoulder or something similar with good marbling. (If you’re in the UK and all you can find is the kind with a 2 inch even layer of fat for crackling, just cut that layer off and keep the nicely marbled meat.) Let’s say at least 2-3lbs of it - but honestly this recipe is so forgiving it doesn’t really matter - just adjust the cooking time accordingly.

• 1 yellow onion (if all you’ve got is white or red, that’s fine too!)

• 2 Tbs dried oregano

• 2 Tsp salt

• 1 Tsp pepper

Put the pork in the slow cooker. Slice the onion in half and remove the peel. Place it on top of the pork. Sprinkle the oregano, salt, and pepper all over. 

Cover and cook on low for around 4 hours (again, adjust time for amount of meat). 

You’ll know it’s done when it falls apart as soon as you touch it with some tongs. It should take very little effort to shred and instead turn into “pulled” pork as you pull it out of the pot. 

Discard the onion or chop it up to eat with the meat, and make sure you’ve mixed the pulled pork in its juices so it doesn’t get dry.

This can be served in any number of ways - on salad, alongside roast veg, in burritos, on rice bowls, in tacos, on nachos, in sandwiches, with pasta… honestly it’s amazing. 

It’s my go-to recipe for hosting a crowd and I take it as a great measure of success that both small children {not hungry, very picky} and young men in their 20s {very hungry, not picky} love it.

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1. Romans 12. (And – if you’re curious about Catholic Encyclicals and don’t mind some phrasing that can feel a bit dense/ formal/ of its era – Mystici Corporis.)

2. I don’t love the Substack inbox algorithm thing but somehow I do keep discovering new and interesting things through it.  The new set up makes me feel a bit like I’m dancing with the devil.

3. I mention this only because I know lots of lovely Evangelicals who didn’t learn of the history around this until well into adulthood and wished they had known more about it sooner.