Pairings .06 🍷🧀
Rest, busyness, and "special" meals you can make ahead for a no-cook sabbath
This week I was having lunch with a friend who’s in ministry, which means that his job and his life overlap in ways that are unusual and often tiring. He shared with me that he’s started taking Sundays “off” and it’s made a big difference. What’s changed? He’s not taking a break from prayer or seeing people (things essential to his vocation), but from email, which is work for him. That one shift has made Sundays truly restful for him during a very busy season of life.
Over at my Cultivating Clarity substack, I’ve been writing about rest and its relation to worship:
Are You Going to Rest?
Lent offers us a chance to consider our own trust in God. When have we seen Him working in our lives? When have we experienced His saving power? Do we believe that He will come through for us again? Do we trust him to provide our daily bread? Or are we more like the Israelites: witnesses to God’s interventions on our behalf, but scared to leave behind our work—no matter how burdensome—because at least we can provide for ourselves with it?
This Lent, are we willing to give up our work, our self-sufficiency, our reliance on “false gods”, and enter into a time of rest and worship with our Saviour?
And, I’ve tried to get practical about what rest might actually look like, by offering journaling questions about what’s behind our fear of rest, (above) and 5 elements of rest to consider as you discern how to keep the Sabbath (below).
A Recipe for Sunday Rest
But a few years ago, through others sharing their stories, and trying to listen for the Spirit’s prompting in prayer, I began to feel like maybe I should really be resting on Sunday. Not using it to catch up on paid or volunteer work, not saving all my housework for that day, not catching up with everyone everywhere and hosting lots of guests.
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But not everyone rests in the same way. We all share in the call to worship, and to refrain from unnecessary work. These are instructions from God. Outside of that, what “rest” looks like will vary by individual, family, and season of life.
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So the key to discerning what Sunday rest looks like for you entails discovering what you find laborious.1
It seems like I’m not the only one who’s had rest on the brain recently.
1. Why Do We Valorize Busyness? by Dixie Dillon Lane
In this essay, Dr. Dixie Dillon Lane covers an impressive amount of ground, exploring why and how we as a society tend to think that being “busy” is a virtue of some kind.
She tackles the underlying utilitarianism that drives our culture, the spiritual risk-taking required to root our self-worth in something other than productivity, and the careful discernment required of individuals and families in considering their own motives and behaviours around busyness.
“I suspect that many of us operate on an always-busy basis because we feel spiritually unmoored, a reality that comes to the fore when we step off the hamster wheel and face the fears that lie waiting. Yet Christ himself reminds us, in the story of his gentle rebuke of his friend Martha of Bethany, that industry is secondary to the virtue of trusting in God’s love for us.”
The conversation continues in the comments section on her substack post.
2. Sabbath? In this economy? #1 by Grace E. Kelley
I stumbled on this piece via Substack notes, and I was glad I did. In it, the author offers really practical ways of embracing rest in the midst of family life, ranging from the simple (but often life changing) practice of using paper plates one night a week, to the more challenging question of finding personal fun and embracing ways to “trade-off” with a spouse.
Her situation and solution may not be yours; but they can offer inspiration and encouragement. (And really, sometimes that’s all we need - to see that others are doing it, and how others are doing it.)
Your thing could be something totally different; a ladies brunch, or a happy hour one night a month, or an escape room OR… anything! All that matters is that it’s something fun for you and your friends, and it doesn’t have to cost a lot. Our book club is a potluck meal, followed by the discussion of one book a month (fantasy romance is our genre of choice) and half of us do the audio book, and half of us get it from our library, and no one judges anyone if they didn’t read it, and we laugh and laugh and laugh. The craziest thing about it, is that when I decided to start this silly book club, just because this was the kind of book club I wanted for myself, I had no concept whatsoever that other people would want that too. But it’s been the strangest thing having new folks join us all the time …
What I’m trying to say is, other’s are hungry for this too. You aren’t the only one if you’ve forgotten the joy and rest that comes with simple nights of pleasure with friends. So my advice to you is to do as Annie F. Downs says; “Chase the fun!” Your soul will thank you.
3. Recipes That Allow for Sunday Rest
It seems like meals are often the sticking point for keeping the sabbath.
Some of us enjoy cooking; some of us don’t. Either way, we usually need a break. But do we go to a restaurant, which requires other people to work? Do we just accept that there is no rest for those of us who need to feed ourselves and others? Do we force ourselves to slave over a hot stove to cook a “special” dinner worthy of a feast day?
Lucky for us, in a world of refrigeration, it’s possible to both make a delicious meal and not make it on a Sunday. (Listen: if cold cereal or charcuterie boards or make-your-own deli sandwiches are your thing, please do that. There is no moral obligation to cook a nice big meal for Sundays!)
These recipes are for things that actually taste better after a few days of sitting. (They also all happen to be gluten, dairy, and nut-free.)
Smitten Kitchen’s Tangy Spiced Brisket. This was so good I ate the sauce with a spoon. I used Siracha, but you can adjust the spice level for your palate/ people.
Jerk Pork Stew (Food 52). My husband is suspicious of recipes that include both cinnamon and meat, but he loved it. All the flavours melding together were fantastic. Note: Instead of 4 habaneros, I used 2 jalapeños, 1 seeded, one not. I also just used a hand blender to save myself the trouble of cleaning a big appliance.
Zuppa Toscana {Paleo, Whole30, Keto Option}. It has bacon and sausage. What’s not to love?! Note: I add 1 Tbs of nutritional yeast and 1 tsp of dijon mustard to cover up the coconut flavour. No one has ever asked me if this is dairy-free.2
“Pairings” is a series in which I share things that go well together - not only the traditional wine and cheese, but things I’ve read or heard or seen. (Content varies widely!) If you’ve missed previous installments, you can find them here:
Pairings 01. Stereotypes, Archetypes, Housewifery & Motherhood (plus Bruschetta)
Pairings 02. Exploring Exhaustion, Life Cost, and Trade-offs (plus an allergen-friendly salad that’s actually delicious)
Pairings 03. The Gifts of Masculinity, plus a recipe for World’s Easiest Pulled Pork
Pairings 04. Arranged marriages, community & the individual, and a fun way to spice up your coffee
Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying this post, you can support my work by sharing it - forward on to a friend, restack, or leave a comment tagging someone who might like it.
Tell me: what’s your sticking point for Sunday rest? Is it a mindset? The practical challenges? And what have you seen others do that you’re intrigued by?
Do you have any great make-ahead recipes to share? I’d love to see them!
This post was originally sent to paid subscribers of Cultivating Clarity, but I’m unlocking it because it goes so well with this bigger conversation about rest and busyness. I’d love for you to join the Cultivating Clarity community, as a free or paid subscriber. It’s part of my life consultancy work, where I write about discernment and intentional living.
If you need lots of great ideas or support in making free-from [insert allergen] foods, I recommend Annelise Roberts’ new substack, The Everything Free Life.
Sabbath rest is an ongoing challenge for me. I wonder if part of the problem is that I have a wrong idea of “rest?” Cooking meals and cleaning up the kitchen is the hardest part of the tension I feel in not fully resting. My family culture, too, was one where there was always a lovely and somewhat laborious Sunday dinner. One of my favorite childhood memories was walking into my grandmother’s home to the coziest smell of roast beef. Still figuring it out!
Thank you, Kerri! It's really helpful to see a collection of resources here on this. I have loved your pieces on rest, and I really enjoyed Grace Kelley's piece, too.