Pairings .08 🍷🧀

Musing over mental health + an Italian-inspired breakfast "salad"

Girl Before a Mirror by Pablo Picasso

This week’s pairings are a little more serious than normal: looking at the idea of “mental health” from different angles. 

I have friends on two extremes of this discussion - some who feel that the mere idea of mental heath and therapy are ridiculous and damaging modern inventions; some who feel that everyone ought to go to therapy on a regular basis and that refusal to go amounts to unhealthy emotional repression.

I’m still working out my own ideas, which is why I found these two essays both interesting and helpful. To deny that people can and do experience disorders of the mind, against their own will, would be foolishness. To deny them help would be cruel. On the other hand, the wide-spread cultural diagnosis that everyone needs therapy and the baseline assumption that most people are “mentally ill” seems incredibly problematic. 

1. OCD: It’s a (real) thing! by Sarah Clarkson

In this short post, Sarah Clarkson shares her story as a Christian with OCD.

An accurate diagnosis, followed by therapy or medication is a profound gift, one that God uses to heal shattered people. For me, it allowed me the first breath of grace I’d known in months as I realised the horror I saw within my mind wasn’t my fault. That relief, that release of knowing I wasn’t to blame allowed me to gain objectivity - this wasn’t my sin, this was an illness I could address through cognitive behavioral therapy, or medicine, or counseling, something I could learn to live with and around, rather than something that would define the whole of my personality.

I love Sarah’s point that having an accurate diagnosis was freeing rather than defining. It gave her language and a framework to understand what was happening in her mind and the peace to know that it wasn’t a result of her own choice. 

But is it possible that sometimes a diagnosis (and surely even that word needs clarification) isn’t freeing and instead becomes defining? And is it possible that some ‘experts’ are handing out ‘diagnoses’ too carelessly, resulting in a generation who have labeled themselves in a defining manner? There are many who would say yes.

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2. Why Focusing on Your “Mental Health” is Harmful by Dr. Roger McFillin

In this essay, clinical psychologist Dr. Roger McFillin takes what has become an “industry” to task for its ambiguity and ability to sow seeds of discontent in the average person.

Do we truly have a universally accepted definition of mental health? Is it merely the absence of painful emotions, a life devoid of anxiety, doubt, loss, sadness, or conflict? Are my emotions too intense, lingering longer than they should? Am I not supposed to think certain thoughts, is that unacceptable? The constant pressure to be happier than I am only adds to the confusion. What is the end goal?

Suddenly, experiencing even mild anxiety for a few days can spiral into a full-blown crisis. "I have anxiety," people now proclaim, as if they’ve been infected with this uncomfortable sensation that urgently needs fixing.

The concept of mental health is deliberately left nebulous, intentionally vague, lacking clear boundaries, which only serves to deepen confusion. This ambiguity inevitably leads individuals to seek validation from professionals to determine the normalcy of their experiences. What ensues is an entire industry poised to validate your struggles and reassure you that you’re on the right path of "taking care of our mental health."

One thing that strikes me as important is the need for distinction and nuance in this discussion. Perhaps even the phrase “mental health” is problematic. Is a clinical diagnosis of serious OCD the same type of thing as someone going to a counselor who tells them they have anxiety, but fails to point out that a caffiene-fueled diet and hours of screen time plus a life lived on social media isn’t normal or healthy for a human person? Hardly. 

On the one hand, to tell someone with a severe mental disorder that they just need more sunshine, or to pray harder, would be failing to give proportionate help; on the other hand, clinically diagnosing someone who is living an unhealthy and unnatural life with a severe mental disorder seems as though it could be disproportionate as well. 

I’m wondering how much mixing up our vocabulary is tied to mixing up our ideas about what is real and deserving of serious treatment vs. what is tied to cultural imagination and in need of a return to basic human living.

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3. An Italian-inspired breakfast "salad"

If you want to mull these existential questions over during breakfast, here’s my newest breakfast “salad,” inspired by a visit to a friend in Rome where the quality of food is, let’s be honest, generally more amazing than other places. (The Romans eat coronetti, but if you’re an expat in need of protein, this is the way to go.)

Salad for breakfast, I admit, sounds rather unappealing. Nobody wants to be chomping on rough greens first thing in the morning - but fear not. This ‘salad’ is about as mild as they come, and it’s really easily put together so you can eat the same thing for a week.

The flavours and textures in this are somehow both wonderfully mild and yet very rich. The soft arugula with its slight spice pairs incredibly well with the sweetness of the potato and the crisp saltiness of the pork. And the sage? Well, it’s *chef’s kiss*.

For about 4-5 days worth of breakfast for one person (or one day for a medium-sized family!) you’ll need:

• 1 large sweet potato (or 2 medium, depending on how much sweet potato you like)

• 1 package arugula/ rocket (do your morning self a favour and buy it pre-washed)

• 1 package prosciutto or about ½ package bacon

• 1 sage plant for your kitchen window sill

• Olive oil & salt

Prep: At some point when you have the oven on for other things, stab your sweet potato with a fork and pop it onto a baking tray or some tinfoil on its own, to catch the sweet goo that will leak out and ruin your oven otherwise. You want it mostly cooked, but not mushy. I put a large one in at about 350F/ 180C for an hour. Let it cool and chop it into cubes (peeled or unpeeled, your choice.) These will live in the fridge for the week.

Each morning, pop a handful of arugula/ rocket into a pasta bowl. Heat a frying pan to medium and drizzle with a bit of olive oil: fry up 2-3 pieces of prosciutto or bacon: transfer these over to the arugula/ rocket so it wilts a bit. Then, warm up the sweet potato cubes in all that nice fat. While they are warming, pick some fresh sage leaves and sprinkle them onto the cooked meat to let the flavour infuse. Top with the sweet potato. Add a sprinkle of salt and drizzle of olive oil, especially if you’re using prosciutto instead of bacon. 

(Alternatively, you can put the bacon and sweet potato cubes in the oven together. When the bacon is cooked, toss the sweet potato cubes in the rendered fat.)

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Tell me: what’s your take on “mental health”? Do you think the phrase is a useful one? Have you had good or bad experiences with therapy? What kind of nuance do you think is needed in this conversation?

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“Pairings” is a series in which I share things that go well together - not only the traditional wine and cheese, but things I’ve read or heard or seen. (Content varies widely!) If you’ve missed previous installments, you can find them here:

Pairings 01. Stereotypes, Archetypes, Housewifery & Motherhood (plus Bruschetta)

Pairings 02. Exploring Exhaustion, Life Cost, and Trade-offs (plus an allergen-friendly salad that’s actually delicious)

Pairings 03. The Gifts of Masculinity, plus a recipe for World’s Easiest Pulled Pork

Pairings 04. Arranged marriages, community & the individual, and a fun way to spice up your coffee

Pairings 05. Comedic marriage & growing up Christian in '90s America, plus the easiest way to cook a whole chicken that will never be dry

Pairings 06. Rest, busyness, and "special" meals you can make ahead for a no-cook sabbath

Pairings 07. Money, vocation, and a recipe using ground beef that doesn't dry it out

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